Welcome December

What is with this year and me having to make all these grown up decisions about my life? First, it was the decision of what to do after I graduated (move to Philly to attend UPENN). Second it was the decision to quit UPenn & move back home. Third, it was the decision to throw caution to the wind and head to Korea to try and make it as a english teacher there. And now comes the wrench to foil all of my Korea plans-- the local community colleges are hiring in both HUMANITIES & HISTORY. Great. The thing that I'd hope would come to me AFTER I got back from Korea...happens to me before I get there.

So now I have to choose between Korea and my "career." Or, in another sense, I'm standing at the crossroads between being a slightly irresponsible 20something, and a full fledged grown up. Damn you 25 for being so in-between. Do I choose my one last hurrah--quite possibly the last time I'll ever have in my life to just pack up and go anywhere? or do I buckle down and do what's more stable for me in the long run?

Everyone keeps telling me that Korea can wait. That it'll always be there. But I disagree. Because once you're locked into a career--and the teaching positions are TENURE TRACK so I'd be locked in for the next few years--you can't just pick up at go. As you get older, it gets harder to do. That's why a lot of people don't go. They wait until they've made a little bit more money, they've been at their jobs just that much longer, until they've paid off the house, car, children's tuition. Before they know it, they've left that moment of carefree going for when they've retired.

I don't want that. I don't think I could stand the wait.

But at the same time, I can't ignore the fact that this opportunity is a rare thing. I've been watching out for something to open up for the past 2 years.

I'm just going to apply & see what happens. I will try & not just throw together some BS application. But I'm also terribly scared for the outcome. I'm half in agony.