part of your world

I was obsessed with Disney's The Little Mermaid when I was 5 or 6 years old. I memorized every line, every moment, every beat. I would play the movie while I acted out the scenes around my house and yes, each room had designated scenes. I remember the movie leaving such an impression upon me.



Explains a lot right?

grr.

I was all set to post something really nice and up beat and maybe a bit profound [i wish] but I'm way too upset at the moment to do anything else but complain.

See, today I experienced all sorts of discrimination from ageism to sexism and, quite frankly, I'm fed up.

First, the boba shop where I experienced ageism from both a group of customers, as well as from the lady at the counter taking orders, I was overlooked even though I was CLEARLY standing there as the next person in line. The customers--or rather, one guy, so maybe this is sexism too-- full on cut me as if I wasn't even there. After that, the lady at the counter saw me standing closer to her as the next person in line, and literally overlooked me--looked over me-- to try and help the older woman standing behind me.

wtf. stop treating me as if I'm dispensable.

And later today, and this is what really made me upset, is the audacity of my students. No, that is unfair, because it is really just this ONE GUY. This one 19/20 year old guy who either doesn't respect me because I'm a girl, or because I'm relatively young, or maybe even both.

Let me relate the contents of our email exchange:

@ 5:59 pm from student to me: Just checking, the second essay is due the coming friday right

@ 6:04 pm from me to student: Actually, the paper was due this past Friday, 3/12. Try to get the paper to me as soon as possible, or if you have questions come see me.

@ 6:14 pm from student to me: wait it was already due i thought there was a week extension

@ 6:19 pm from me to student: I don't know why you thought there was an extension. Check the syllabus for the due dates for the papers.

@ 6:23 pm from student to me: damn, can you tell me where the prompt for this essay is and how many points will I loose for the delay

@ 6:35 a NEW email from student to me with subject heading: "c'mon help out"

@ 6:39 pm from me to student: Here you go: I hope you have the Locke reading for this (we went over it in class). Also, as the syllabus states, late papers get docked 1/3 a grade per business day.

@ 6:49 pm from student to me: thanks and since it was the weekend and not business days i am good right, c'mon just look the other just this once

WTH.

I don't get it. He would never ever, ask his professor to "look the other way" and essentially disregard the established-since-the-first-day-of-school policy for late assignments. Not to mention the breach in academic integrity. NOT TO MENTION the overall informality which I find revolting. Why are you swearing in an email to me? I'm still your instructor! Stop thinking you are the exception. And that second email to me asking for the prompt, I was almost tempted not to send it because a) he should have had it already and b) he was making HIS emergency MY emergency in such a manner as to tick me off in the worse possible way.

This is the same student who, during a mandatory visit to my office hour, asked me my age. When I asked him why it matters--and if it was because he didn't trust in my abilities as an instructor--he said that it didn't, but proceeded to say "it's just that you look 22." [:D] And that comment only increased my suspicions that his overall behavior--he doesn't take my class seriously--stems from the fact that he sees me as a peer rather than an instructor who ultimately has control of a good portion of his grade. It's a mistake that I know already will prove to be his undoing in a class like this.

And okay, I'll cut those customers at the boba place some slack because he just might not have seen me standing there by the counter. Instead of being a sexist/ageist, I'll just call him an selfish, inconsiderate man with a false sense of entitlement. The other two cases, I think, don't merit any other consideration.

But then again, is it me? Is it something about me that makes people either not take me seriously or, even worse, not take notice of me at all?

You're not one of those...Feminists, are you?

The Good Wife's Guide

+ Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

+ Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

+Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

+Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

+Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first--remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

+Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

+Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

+A good wife always knows her place.

Those are just a few gems from Housekeeping Monthly 1955. hurray for feminism!