OVER it.

I think I'm experiencing cabin fever for the first time in my life.

But, is it probably because I'm living with someone who is not at all related to me for the first time in my life.

And I'm going to go crazy.

At first it wasn't at all bad. And don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl, and I'm actually really grateful to her for many things.

But wow does she like to talk.

I don't know what it is... this past year I realized that I've been talked at by certain individuals--my officemate this past school year, and now, my roommate. Is there something about me that just makes them want to talk about every and anything that comes to there head? Why can't they enjoy silence? Or is there something about me that just screams that my thoughts and opinions don't matter, therefore I should never, ever, be allowed to say anything in this one-sided conversation?

In any case, I'm pretty sick of it.

When we went through that insane, craptastic summer school class recently, it was fine because I didn't have time to deal with her and vice versa. But these last two weeks have been... grating on my nerves. I've noticed that she's one of those people who is great with filling silence--which can be lovely in certain situations. But that also makes her a great talker, and not a great listener.

she also has this tendency to monopolize conversations. Since I'm around her ALL the time, I've heard all the same stories, repeatedly. and boy, do they get told a lot. so not only can I not participate in conversation, I have to hear the same stories all the time.

And last night, and incident occurred that I'm still upset about.

yesterday at our apartment we were hanging out with another one of the people in our program--the three of us-- when she brings up a topic and proceeds to make a three person conversation become a two person conversation...and guess who the odd person out is? At this point, I'm pretty freaking used to the idea of just sitting, nodding my head and giving the appropriate "mmhmm"s, but then maybe around 10-15minutes of me being excluded, that no, she was going to continue to ignore my presence.

needless to say, I was pissed.

so then I became rude. I pulled out my phone and starting texting people, showing how bored I was/how rude she was.

when it became clear that she was going to continue to be rude and disrespectful to me--in my own living space--I just got up and got ready to bed while they had a love fest on the couch.

this morning, I ducked out of the apartment before she woke up and spent the whole day out and didn't respond to her texts. I went to a nice cafe, drank some tea, did some work. I took a nice walk around. I read more of Eat Pray Love outside underneath big walnut trees. I ate korean food. I went to Church. It was lovely.

I have never, ever, had my presence--my very existence--so blatantly ignored like that. I'm so offended. I won't say anything to her, I'll just let it go, but in turn, I want to not have to deal with her or her drama.

OMG did I MENTION HER DRAMA?!?!?!

I don't know if its because shes 21 or what, but she just complains about EVERYTHING. & there's all sort of boy trouble that, quite frankly, I don't want to hear about because it just seems so childish. She has all the drama 21 year olds carry around with them, and honestly, its something that I feel I shouldn't have to deal with.

I don't need anymore friends. Or at least, I don't need to be bffs with my roommate. The most I want is to GET ALONG.

Because I'd rather feel all the depth of my loneliness than hang out with someone out of some warped sense of obligation.

wow, I didn't mean for this to turn out into a rant about my roommate. & now I feel bad for blogging about her.

but not bad enough that I won't publish this ish.

Day 8: Picture from your morning commute

sorry for the delay, but I had to wait for a morning when I actually had to go somewhere haha. this is a bakery that I pass by everytime I go to school. I like to look at it because of its bright red umbrellas that let me know I'm getting closer to school/home.

Day 7: A Picture from a recent Vacation

London Bridge as seen from the Tower of London (Jan. 2010)

Day 6: A Picture that Inspires You

Pieta.

Cooking in Philly

I don't have to say how different it is living on your own v. living at home.

At home, your laundry magically gets done & you can come home to neatly pressed & ironed shirts and dresses.

At home, there's always food. And you don't even have to make it yourself!

While I'm such a food lover, and I try to experiment with different things to eat and cook at home, I have to say I'm not much of a natural cook.

I need recipes. Written out, looked at, right next to me as I cook.

I'm not at all someone who "eyeballs" ingredients. For the longest time, I didn't know what a "pinch" of salt meant. Literally a pinch? fyi, apparently it's about 1/8 a tsp.

In any case, if I am at all a successful cook, it's largely because I can follow the directions from a recipe. Even the things I make all the time, I still look at recipes.

I didn't commit recipes to memory because, well, I didn't have to.

I guess Plato was onto something when he said that writing:

will introduce forgetfulness into the soul of those who learn it: they will not practice using their memory because they will put their trust in writing, which is external and depends on signs that belong to others, instead of trying to remember from the inside, completely on their own. You have not discovered a potion for remembering, but for reminding. (Phaedrus 27a)

But when I first came here to Philly, I didn't have any recipes with me. Not a single cookbook. Yeah, sure I could look online at epicurious, foodnetwork, recipe bazaar, goop, etc., but for a while there, I didn't even have internet.

And I certainly wasn't going to eat out if I could help it.

So then, I had to gather my wits about me to figure out what I would eat everyday. My cooking became a tribute to my youth. Before I got my first cookbook, before I could log onto the internet to find recipes, I had what I learned how to make when I was younger through observation and assistance to the adults in my household, and the things I learned how my make myself through hard earned trial and error.

Chicken and rice dishes, roasted vegetables, omelettes, sauteed spinach, palmiers, baked fish, oven-baked granola, grilled (chicken) sausage...

and then, there was pasta.

Steamed clams with white wine, parsley, lemon with angelhair. Spaghetti and chicken sausage with marinara. And my favorite, portobello mushroom ravioli with brown-butter-balsalmic sauce with fresh parmesan.

In short, it was pure gluttony.

And it was lovely and beautiful. Sure, I could make way more complicated stuff--I have since received my recipe collection--but I love this idea of everything coming to me as I walk the aisles of the fresh produce section, as I approach the deli counter, or the seafood station. I love seeing what's fresh and what's good, what's in season and discovering what I can do with it as I taste seasoning and adjust as needed.

Without my recipes.

Day 5: Picture from your morning

Breakfast: hot tea + everything bagels with butter (and a tab extra salt for good measure--don't judge me), a discarded H&M catalog, and a not pictured banana.

Followed by a trip to trader joes in the best weather Philly has had since I've been here! I'm currently sitting in my room in the middle of the afternoon with no a/c or even a fan on, and I'm not even breaking a sweat! I almost forgot what it felt like to not be sweaty haha.

It makes me excited for that East coast Fall weather I've heard so much about :)

Day 4: A Picutre of where you went today

I fell asleep before I could post this yesterday, but here:

Philadelphia has its own version of Chinatown (but much, much smaller than the SF/ NYC variety). Pictured above is the Friendship Gate. I wikied it and it was a pretty interesting read, and I will include only a short tidbit for it:

The Chinatown Friendship Gate...is an internationally known landmark and a symbol of cultural exchange and friendship between Philadelphia and its Sister City, Tianjin, China. The Gate is part of the Port Agreement signed in Tianjin, China on November 11, 1982...

The Gate is the first authentic Chinese Gate built in America by artisans from China. Weighing in at approximately 88 tons and standing 40-feet high, the Gate's bright colors and elaborate design reflect traditional ancient color combinations used in early Chinese imperial construction. Themes of mythical creatures and graphic patterns typical to Ming and Qing Dynasties were used. A procession of mythical animals is featured on tiles, each with its own significance: the phoenix ensures good luck, and the dragon, with the magical power retaining water in its mouth, protects the structure of the Gate and the community from Fire.

I went to chinatown to eat dim sum. The place we went was busy & delicious, but unfortunately we were stuck in a table at the back--behind large parties--so I literally had to fetch our food from the carts! I was just glad to be eating what is probably my favorite thing to go out and eat. nom nom nom.

More pics of the gate: