sticky fingers

"Excuse me, do you mind watching my stuff for a moment? I'm just going to step out..."

"Oh, no not at all. I'll keep an eye on it."

What is it about studying next to a random person in a coffeeshop that makes you think you can trust them to not run out the door with all your stuff? I mean, we haven't formally met...you don't know my name... you don't know anything about me. Just because you've been sitting next to me for the last 3 hours doesn't make me an honest person who isn't a klepto. Is it because I look like an unassuming asian girl who has too much crap surrounding her that it would be hard to make a quick break? Or is it because it looks like you could totally out run me and take me out? Or is it because you feel some sort of strange unacknowledged bond with me because in the last 3 hours we've picked up our respective coffee mugs up simultaneously twice, and have leafed through papers simultaneously once?

Whatever it is, I get it. I, too, feel like I can trust you not to run away with my stuff, mr. stranger man, because we've developed a harmonious bond of co-existing in the same space without annoying one another. That bond, weak as it is, makes me think well of you, and prevents me from stealing you 17-in MacBook Pro that I've been eyeing for the last 3 hours.

Oh! And this brings up another point. Just what do they expect ME to do if some random should just come up and start hoarding the stuff away? What would be appropriate in that situation? Do I politely interrupt them mid-theft to ask them what they are doing, and could you please put that back? Do I run to the bathroom where my neighbor is currently relieving themselves and bang on the stall door screaming that their stuff is being taken away? Or do I (and this is my favorite) wait until the perpetrators have got a good distance away from me, take a running start, and tackle them in front of the gathering masses? Instant hero and slot on the 9 o'clock news.