surrounded by awkwardness

**edited to add story number 3!**

three stories today--actually, one from yesterday and two from today. All filled with awkwardness though, prepare yourselves!

1) Yesterday when I was walking back to my office from the library, I was shouldering some huge books and holding a coffee (my lifeline nowadays). I also just so happened to be wearing heels. Yes, they just get eaten up by the asphalt, and I don't really HAVE to wear them, but in a way, they help distance me from my students, with whom I was having individual meetings with all day. That is, they are my golden arm cuffs a la wonder women with which I can reflect evilness at large.

Back to the story. I was right in front of the building, which looks like this:


And as I'm walking up, I hear this guy holla:

him: "now you know you didn't have to wear them heels to school today. You could have just worn some flip flops..."

I stop. Look around. oh shoot, you are talking to me?!? uh, uh uh... all I end up doing is smile. Then I say, awkwardly:

me: "No, not today." Like, wth? what does that even mean?! ahh but then he goes,

him: "hey, are you jellin?" (gellin'? I still dont know what's right)

me: "huh?"

him: "Are.you.gellin?"

Me: "Ohhhh HAHA" then I realized my laugh was REALLY loud because of the situation of the buildings, it like, echoed like crazy! "No, I'm not actually."

And then I walked away, like super weirdly.

2) today's story requires a bit of background. Ok so, as the two of you know, I am a TA, and have been one since late August. For brevity sake, lets just say that another one of the TAs uh, was infatuated with me, and while I thought he was a really nice good guy, I was not in any sort of place to deal with his feelings (as harsh as that sounds). In any case, things ended badly and without confrontation nor resolution. Basically he started to ignore me, and I, in turn, ignore him back. We're peers and co-workers who never.ever.interact. and we even go out of our way to avoid one another. he even un-friended me on facebook. yeah, its THAT awkward.

so today, I was in the building, waiting for the elevator by myself. when the doors opened, I heard someone follow me in to the elevator. being the first one in, I went to the little panel to push the button for my floor. And, this always happens, I hesitated as I tried to figure out if I should push my button and walk away from the panel so the person behind me can push their own---this is the anti-social person in me, but come one, how awkward are elevator conversations?-- or if I should be nice and ask them what floor they need.

"What floor can I get...." my cheery sentence falls apart as I turned to see my companion.

It's him. the TA.

"oh.. nevermind." I mumble, unthinkingly. As I press myself into the furthest corner away from him. He stands at the opposite wall, trying and failing, at attempting a casual stance. He says nothing.

Meanwhile, I'm mentally punching myself. this is what you get for trying to be social! I tell myself. This is what happens when you try to be nice! never again, I promise myself. be anti-social and love it.

I'm also going over the scenario again in my head. the "oh nevermind" can be seen in two ways. The first,"oh nevermind" is because I don't need to know what floor hes at because he works down the fall from me and thus is going to the same place. The second, and the one in which I intended it to be, is the "oh its you... nevermind." As in, shoot I forgot I wasn't talking to you! arghh.

Thank goodness that some girl gets in the elevator right before it closes, and effectively diffuses the situation by standing between us, happy and relieved that she made it in before the doors closed.

3) this just happened and I have no idea what is going on. Sadaf and I went to the starbucks on campus just now and she ordered her coffee and then I ordered mine, but then, like, the barista struck up a long conversation. like, super long. and it centered around my thesis, so I couldn't make it end either. Once you get me started on my thesis, it never ends. plus, I had to defend my precious romans against the modern american historian bS. yeah cold war might be interesting. but its all about being smarter than the next guy hunkered down in isolation, whereas my romans were out on the battlefield with freaking elephants! WITH FREAKING ELEPHANTS. yeah put that in your grande skinny latte and sip on that!