OVER it.

I think I'm experiencing cabin fever for the first time in my life.

But, is it probably because I'm living with someone who is not at all related to me for the first time in my life.

And I'm going to go crazy.

At first it wasn't at all bad. And don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl, and I'm actually really grateful to her for many things.

But wow does she like to talk.

I don't know what it is... this past year I realized that I've been talked at by certain individuals--my officemate this past school year, and now, my roommate. Is there something about me that just makes them want to talk about every and anything that comes to there head? Why can't they enjoy silence? Or is there something about me that just screams that my thoughts and opinions don't matter, therefore I should never, ever, be allowed to say anything in this one-sided conversation?

In any case, I'm pretty sick of it.

When we went through that insane, craptastic summer school class recently, it was fine because I didn't have time to deal with her and vice versa. But these last two weeks have been... grating on my nerves. I've noticed that she's one of those people who is great with filling silence--which can be lovely in certain situations. But that also makes her a great talker, and not a great listener.

she also has this tendency to monopolize conversations. Since I'm around her ALL the time, I've heard all the same stories, repeatedly. and boy, do they get told a lot. so not only can I not participate in conversation, I have to hear the same stories all the time.

And last night, and incident occurred that I'm still upset about.

yesterday at our apartment we were hanging out with another one of the people in our program--the three of us-- when she brings up a topic and proceeds to make a three person conversation become a two person conversation...and guess who the odd person out is? At this point, I'm pretty freaking used to the idea of just sitting, nodding my head and giving the appropriate "mmhmm"s, but then maybe around 10-15minutes of me being excluded, that no, she was going to continue to ignore my presence.

needless to say, I was pissed.

so then I became rude. I pulled out my phone and starting texting people, showing how bored I was/how rude she was.

when it became clear that she was going to continue to be rude and disrespectful to me--in my own living space--I just got up and got ready to bed while they had a love fest on the couch.

this morning, I ducked out of the apartment before she woke up and spent the whole day out and didn't respond to her texts. I went to a nice cafe, drank some tea, did some work. I took a nice walk around. I read more of Eat Pray Love outside underneath big walnut trees. I ate korean food. I went to Church. It was lovely.

I have never, ever, had my presence--my very existence--so blatantly ignored like that. I'm so offended. I won't say anything to her, I'll just let it go, but in turn, I want to not have to deal with her or her drama.

OMG did I MENTION HER DRAMA?!?!?!

I don't know if its because shes 21 or what, but she just complains about EVERYTHING. & there's all sort of boy trouble that, quite frankly, I don't want to hear about because it just seems so childish. She has all the drama 21 year olds carry around with them, and honestly, its something that I feel I shouldn't have to deal with.

I don't need anymore friends. Or at least, I don't need to be bffs with my roommate. The most I want is to GET ALONG.

Because I'd rather feel all the depth of my loneliness than hang out with someone out of some warped sense of obligation.

wow, I didn't mean for this to turn out into a rant about my roommate. & now I feel bad for blogging about her.

but not bad enough that I won't publish this ish.