In defense of Stalking

yeah, I'm writing a post about this. quit laughing at me for a second and thinking how fitting it is that, of all people, I would write about this. Just...hear me out.

I suppose I should start by writing a disclaimer. I do not, in any capacity, endorse stalking as it is defined by L. Royakkers, "Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwontedly, and disruptively breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have no relationship (or no longer have)." This kind of stalking leads to dangerous, violent, and scary places. It is a clear mental sickness and ought to be treated. To be clear, I am not defending the kind of behaviour that results in restraining orders, or worse, imprisonment. I have a strong sense of personal privacy (see previous post), and believe that some things are not meant to be shared.

But let's keep this on a lighter note people.

What I am talking about is the light-hearted, good-humoured, stalking. The kind that infatuated boys and girls succumb to when "crushing" on (professors) other boys and girls--sometimes mainstream celebrities, other times, internet celebrities.

In such cases where the stalker does not know the stalkee, e.g. celebrities, it is often a matter of the stalker projecting their own hopes, desires, and wishes on the stalkee. We don't know who these people really are, and for most of us, that's fine. We want the illusion, not the reality. Like so many other things in life, the dream--the ideal--far surpasses the reality. But we also want to feel connected to that dream, so we google search, facebook, and pick up on key words to find out as much as we can. And whatever new information we find, we process in our minds and spin it into somehow fulfilling yet another quality which just makes our stalkee just that much more perfect. **swoon and sigh**

Anyone who knows me knows that I crush pretty frequently, and hard. I have the potential to **love** just about everybody. That, in turn, means that I will stalk just about anybody. dun dun dun! Now, some people say that sometimes my stalking is a bit much, or that, in general, this sort of innocent stalking is creepy, scary and perverse. But let me just say that this harmless stalking behaviour is no worse than the kinds of illusions little girls have when dreaming of their prince charming.

girls, at a very young age, are conditioned by fairy tales, disney, nursery rhymes, etc., into believing in some sort of happily ever after--complete with Mr. Prince Charming. But as girls get older, they realize that the world they live in, doesn't have dragons that need to be slayed, castle towers that they need rescuing from, wicked step-mothers that want to do them in, nor forest creatures as their best friends. Their reality has changed. But they still want that comfort of finding their prince that will wake them up from a spell with a kiss. So what to do? change their prince charming as well. He no longer is a prince, riding ever so handsomely on his gallant horse and brandishing his sword to come to your defense. He is, a scruffy looking englishman who plays a sparkly vampire in that one movie series. He is one-fifth of a late 1990s boy band.

The dream is too much to give up, and we will cling on to that "happily ever after" fiercely. You can blame social conditioning for that. But is it so very bad? For the most part, it is all just harmless and innocent. It's nice to have something to hope for, even if it does leave you disappointed. Again, we desire the illusion because no one really wants to have that dream crushed by actually meeting their stalkee and realizing that they weren't as great as they thought. We just need an outlet to dump semi-romantic feelings upon.

so what am I saying? Don't hate the player, hate the game!

Btw, who am I currently stalking? well... that's for me to know, and you to find out by stalking me. just kidding. really. please dont stalk me ;)